I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize