Where is the hickey?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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