so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize