5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
