You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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