try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
