But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
