I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize