I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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