During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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