I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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