Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
where am i from again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
