Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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