I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
