fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
