where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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