kristin has been a bad kristin
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
