You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
