Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
