SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
