I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize