so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
