The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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