Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
