Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
