It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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