And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
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He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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