he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
