im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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