nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
