If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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