Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
