jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
