He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
