do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
