whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
