The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
