its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
