Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
