I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
