if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize