Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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