thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
