I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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