when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
