Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
