I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
