You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
