i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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