why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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