a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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