It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
