Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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