hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
