who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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