i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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