I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need moral support for this bender
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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