I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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