so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
