you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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