1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love you. Go after that dick
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
