Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
