I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
