Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me

Fav 3 1297 1973
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on

Fav 41 7079 1103
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.

Fav 17 3122 977
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

Fav 26 5430 2488
share tweet
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(318): View more from Louisiana

This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.

Fav 18 8360 1442
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

Fav 19 6240 1611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(807): View more from Ontario

I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.

Fav 4 2647 1137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?

(828): View more from North Carolina

Sobriety and mild self-respect

Fav 5 1704 920
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"

Fav 0 42 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT