when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
