4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Let's get the cat blown out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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