yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
